“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” ― C.G. Jung
Most of us experienced low self-esteem sometimes in the life. It can be acute, because of some professional, emotional, personal situation that we consider as a failure, it can be consequence of abuse, or can be chronicle state by adopting negative beliefs that we internalized as negative self-image. However, in this modern world, surrounded by millions of others and perfection on social medias we are challenged to deal with everybody’s comments and evaluation.
Low self-esteem usually limits people from showing themselves or showing false image which prevents people make deep bonds. In order to accept and show ourselves authentically to world we need to have strong ground created by experiences, self-awareness, knowledge of strength and weaknesses and trust in personal capacities.
Greater self-esteem affects to humans ability to have healthy self-image, to push and go through challenges with both positive and negative emotions, but not with unhealthy reactions, catastrophic predictions and fatalistic failure.
Improvement of self-esteem is a constant process that has its own rise and fall. Through time, periods of fall become rarer and become less terrible.
How we can influence to development of greater self-esteem?
Awareness – being able to be present here and now and be in touch with yourself. It includes contact with yourself and others, giving, acceptance and necessary excitement. For presence in moment it is important to hold your previous experience and fantasies about future aside, but again as something familiar that you can hold as a support system. Being present in a moment it is challenging task and it takes practice to stay grounded and focused on what is going on around you, on smells, noises and tastes.
Acceptance- as strategy is ability to fully and honestly embrace who we are as unique individual. Acceptance is acknowledging imperfections and work on them if it is possible. Focusing too much on flaws and not being able to recognize virtue leads to destructive behavior. Finding balance between recognition and improvement of imperfection leaves space for personal growth. Everybody are everything. “I am imperfect, sometimes angry, sometimes ashamed, sometimes confident, positive. All of this is me and I am learning and every day I am one step closer to my authentic self.” People accept themselves every day, during whole life, with every new experience we are reshaping who we are and that is the biggest human strength, ability to transform.
Self-support and social support
As a humans we have been passed through many exhausting, tough situations and we survived. Building resilience as necessary skill for a life, people are much eager to face with future challenges. It is important to know how to support yourself when you fall and how to ask support from others. Moreover, surround yourself with people who take you out from your comfort zone, who are pushing you to move forward and in same time give you security. When we feel supported we are giving ourselves more freedom to try new things against anxiety we feel in that moment. Every positive experience is support and one step closer to greater self-esteem.
In my practice, I have seen that self-esteem is built when people get in touch with their authentic self. When they let themselves to feel inadequate, when accept their own failures and when let themselves to feel and see wounds. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, in that moment we have the biggest strength, because now, finally we know who we are and how resistant and strong we can be.